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Writer's pictureMira Kirshenbaum

What we’ll be remembered for

I just spent the past three hours in a Zoom-based memorial celebration of

the life of a friend who died recently. My heart is full, so Part 3 of the series

on Reality...really? will have to wait until Tuesday.


I’ll be very brief. At some point my life will end and so will yours. And what

the past three hours have taught me is that what our survivors will

remember and talk about is the ways we’ve brightened other people’s lives.


That’s it. The times we were kind. Generous. Loving. Helpful. Tender.

Compassionate. Cheerful at a time when cheerfulness was in short supply.


Our successes will seem nice but hollow. Our casual cruelties, our moments

of selfishness, and our periods of bitterness will also be remembered, but

they won’t be talked about. And if they are all that’s remembered, there’ll

be nothing to talk about.


So you and I, right now, can start scripting the celebration of our lives that’ll

take place soon after we’ll be gone. It’ll be a memorial of whatever

memories of our generosity, love, helpfulness, tenderness, compassion, and

cheerfulness we’ve left behind. What better gift to give your survivors.

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